Need vs. Desire
We are going to experiment with a simple mind shift….
Every day coaching with my clients I hear sentences like: “I need to work on this”, or “What I really need is some peace and quiet”. It’s standard to use this phrase, most of us do. However, using this phrase causes us many problems. First of all it contains in itself a lack of something, missing something. Purely by using this word we sentence our reality to being insufficient. “I need” means I don’t have it, in order to make this moment whole, something external has to come into my life.
Not only the moment is insufficient, I NEED often elicits feelings of shame. It contains in itself the judgement that what we are doing is not enough, and from a place of shame, which is not the most efficient state to be in for creation.
This I NEED is as present in our conversations as it is in our internal dialogue. Our mind constantly reminds us of all the things we NEED in order to be happy.
So what if instead of having needs, we could have desires?
What if I instead of needing to clean up the basement we desired organized basement? Instead of feeling that we suck at running and needing to step our game up, we desired being fast and tireless? What if instead of needing to loose weight we desired to have a fit body?
While need comes from a place of lack, insufficiency, desire comes from you already being whole, and wanting things on top of that. Don’t worry, It’s ok to be whole and want more from life. The objection I get often is that people don’t feel worthy of desiring stuff. It is more socially acceptable to bash oneself down for all the insufficiencies (therefore I need is prevalent) than to acknowledge our strengths and places of wholeness. Desires are ways that our intuition guides us in life. When we follow our desires we have a chance to be happy. When we follow our needs the best we can do is to break even, when our needs are fulfilled we end up in a place of non-lacking.
Not in a place of bliss.
If you are interested in actualizing your desires, continue to the worksheet….
How to turn Needs into Desires:
1. Write down every time you use the verb need while talking with others and in your own thoughts. You’ll end up with a hefty list.
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2. Experiment in swapping it out for other words that have the capacity of creating more abundance.
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3. Introduce the new statements into your daily life, in speech as well as in thought.
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