Today we’re talking about victims, those of us who sabotage ourselves by feeling victimized by the world around us. Victims tend to try to gain attention by being temperamental, emotional and have an extreme focus on painful feelings. 

If this below hurts your feelings, you probably have some victim in you:

- You 100% identify with your feelings.

- No matter what happens, you seem to always be struggling, because you believe that you are uniquely flawed. 

- You cannot handle criticism. Even misunderstandings make you withdraw, pout or sulk. 

- You feel underprivileged and like the world is rigged against you. 

- Others feel frustrated and helpless around you because they cannot help you. 

- You give up at a smallest sign of possible difficulty and crumble.

- you feel misunderstood and lonely even in your closest relationships. 

Victims are attached to having difficulties - they might even falsely think that the difficulties are inherent to them or that they wouldn’t like it the other way. Enormous amount of energy is spent on trying to prove this to be true. Instead, we could spend that energy on spreading our gifts: ability to feel emotions clearly, introspection and self discovery and sensitivity to nuanced inner workings of the mind. Those with a victim also happen to be outstanding at connecting, teaching and inspiring others because of their deep understanding. 

Here are some tips for handling our victim-y tendencies:

- Expose your selective thinking that nobody cares. Blame others fairly - by acknowledging both good and bad. 

- Refrain from creating drama in order to get other’s attention. 

- When feeling victim-y  acknowledge it and get creative and curious how else you could interpret the situation. It helps to have a sense of humor about this. 

- Connect to being unique in a new way - without creating separateness from others.