Inspiring others inspires us
Yesterday I had a big climbing win.
But this story is not about rock climbing or winning.
It's about interconnectedness, inspiration and holding each other’s hands.
I've been rock climbing for over 25 years. It serves so many roles for me… is my way of getting outside, having community, seeing myself clearly, and striving for mastery.
There is also a dark side. Very often in my climbing I evaluate myself, base my worth, on my achievements. Worse, if I don’t perform well, I make that mean a lot more than just not climbing well. Instead I make it validate my biggest and deepest fears. That I don’t belong, that I shouldn’t be here and that I am uniquely flawed.
I have a full awareness of it and I know how to heal and work with myself when I these feelings arise.
These feelings usually show up at the edge of my comfort zone, practically this means that the harder I try, the more healing and self parenting I require. I use up a lot of bandwidth managing this and end up having less pure energy for pursuing my limits. I quit climbing in my twenties to escape this vicious cycle, but it didn’t really remedy anything, just put it on hold. The pattern is here until it’s healed.
I keep purposefully pushing my own buttons for a reason… I know that I can work through this, largely reduce the window in which I’m getting triggered and the time and energy that it takes to process and heal myself out of this crash state.
and…. I just discovered a shortcut.
While facilitating a climbing outing for a group, I myself had a transformative experience.
There was a very talented young lady who came with a lot of skill and also a lot of fear. She told us up front how she is NOT going to climb certain things, due to her fear. It just so happened that a role model of hers, someone who she really respected and admired was part of this group. We met her with full respect for her sovereignty and authority while also showing her that her fears were optional. Something shifted in the young climber during that day. She set her fears aside and proceeded to overcome not one but 4 different self imposed mind blocks. She was ecstatic. She was glowing, so free. She was forever changed.
The three of us had tears in our eyes and a feeling of being something much bigger than just doing a rock climb. I had no doubt that she will go home to her gym and teach countless other people how to free themselves of their fears. She will change their lives.
As I drove home I reflected on how amazing she was and proud I was of her and… how jealous I felt about her feeling a certain way about her climbing. I realized that after 25 years of doing this, I rarely tap into the feeling of possibility, joy and transformation that she tapped into. Yes, my learning curve has flattened and it’s much harder for me to punch through my ceilings. But not impossible.
Yesterday I rolled into Rifle Canyon infused by this young climbers inspiration, and an aspiration to experience more joy, more love, more buoyancy in my climbing. I wanted to be more like her, feel like she did.
As I set off to try my edge rock climb that I’ve been trying for weeks I gave myself the same encouragement, respect and love as I gave her a few days back. I climbed quickly, purposefully, with incredible precision. Instead of try hard I floated. Movement that felt crazy hard just a week ago, now felt effortless. None of my regular fears got activated. In my flow it felt fun, joyous and amazing… and easy. What once seemed impossible was done.
This young woman’s breakthrough, her emotions and her bravery touched me so deeply, that I went through a breakthrough of my own.
This is the shortcut, guys.
When we pay attention and deeply feel other peoples breakthrough, without forcing or changing them, but in harmony with who they are… we get to be changed by it. We get to be healed by the healing we witness in them. This work does not happen in the mind, we can’t really explain it with words. It happens by deeply feeling others. When we do this, our body learns from their bodies. This is called embodied change. Things stop being concepts and become facts. Once your body knows, it will always know.
with love,
Marta