How to belong

You can create belonging… all on your own. 

Belonging is the biggest industry in the world. We humans will go into the greatest lengths and give up almost anything to belong. We get liposuctions, designer purses and homes in the Hamptons,  because we assume that it will help us feel that we are connected. 

Fortunately for us, money is terrible at helping anyone feel belonging. And other people are also not necessary! Who is great at creating belonging for ourselves is…. ourselves. 

To belong is to feel connected. We think that we belong in a group when we speak like them, look like them or wear the same shoes. We try to belong by getting others to like us and accept us. 

The feeling of connection we FEEL does not come from OTHERS. Nobody can give you that feeling. It comes from inside of us when we deliberately choose to connect to self and the world. 

So how does one choose to belong? We create it by choosing thoughts that help us feel connected. By questioning the thoughts that makes us feel disconnected. We create belonging by listening deeply to others and sharing vulnerably. We create connection by choosing to think of people we are with as important, respecting them and loving them. 

Observe yourself in social situations. What stands in your way of connecting. What are some nagging thoughts about this. Instead of giving into these thoughts, decide that you belong to the groups and communities that you are part of. Choose to think that you are relevant, important and respect yourself as an important part of that community. 

It will save you a lot of suffering and possibly a lot of money. 

If you find my tips helpful, put them into practice. Insight is 20 percent, while practice creates 80 percent of success.

Get out there and choose to belong. Let me know how it went!